Episode 4
Real Leaders Aren't Fake
If you want to be successful, you have to fake it till you make it a little, right? Maybe not. This episode explains why this traditional approach no longer fits in modern business culture, and why it’s not a good way for Christian business people to get ahead.
Timestamps:
[00:05] - Intro
[00:36] - What we mean by “fake it till you make it”--and the science that backs it up
[01:38] - Why “fake it till you make it” is risky
[02:59] - The real question isn’t whether faking it works, but rather whether you should in the sense of values and ethics.
[03:51] - You cannot hide the truth of what you are or know from God.
[04:18] - Your coworkers are not who you must face on Judgment Day.
[04:41] - A better approach than faking it
[06:10] - The spotlight effect--an example from HBO Max on why you shouldn’t worry
[07:56] - Prayer
[8:42] - Outro/what’s coming up
[09:17] - Postroll CTA
Key takeaways:
- “Fake it ‘til you make it” has some potential benefits, and there’s some research to back it up. But it’s a risky approach because you can lose everything if people discover you’ve manipulated them.
- “Fake it ‘til you make it” usually depends on lying, and scripture is clear that God wants you to speak truthfully.
- You cannot hide who you are from God. Because He is the one you will face on Judgment Day, it’s better to worry about what He wants than to be dishonest in an attempt to fit in and please others.
- Many people overestimate how much others will notice or punish them. This is part of the Spotlight Effect. Real-world examples show that people can be much more compassionate and empathetic than you might expect them to be.
- If you are anxious about what others will think of you or have fear, you should give that to God and ask Him for courage, rather than presenting a fake picture of who you are.
Relevant Links:
What is Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)?
Nonverbal Communication and Body Language
Why it’s time to end the toxic culture of ‘fake it till you make it’
CTAs:
- Ask people for feedback. Be honest and go to God when you are anxious or unsure, having faith that He will give you the courage you need and confidence that He will have your back.
- Head on over to Patreon.com/FaithfulOnTheClock to become a supporting member for the show.
What's coming up next:
God has a tendency to flip the script when it comes to class and expectations. Episode 5 of Faithful on the Clock explains how God can do this for you, and how you can be happy no matter what job or role you might have.
Transcript
00:05
Hello, everyone, I’m your host, Wanda Thibodeaux, and you’re listening to Faithful on the Clock, the podcast all about getting your faith and work aligned. In Episode 4 of the podcast, I’m tackling the traditional fake it til you make it mindset. You’ll learn why it’s ineffective and how to make a great impression just by being yourself. Ready, set, let’s go.
00:36
Now first, I just want to get us all on the same page and define what we really mean when we say fake it til you make it. Generally, it means that, if you act ike you’re confident, optimistic, competent, or any other number of good things, then you’ll actually feel confident, optimistic, competent, or whatever else. We know from psychology--and as always, I’ll leave links in the show notes--that your behavior actually can influence the way you think and feel, and vise versa. This is the whole idea behind cognitive behavioral therapies. So there’s some evidence to back this up. And because most people constantly are looking at, you know, what you do, those nonverbal cues like body language and whatnot, for clues about your attitude and emotions, we can influence the impression other people get from us by changing what behavior we show off. And faking it can be a good thing it that it can challenge you to get out of your regular habits that didn’t necessarily help you. You might do things under the fake it mentality that you normally wouldn’t do because you’d be too scared otherwise.
01:38
On the other hand, it can be really hard to control our nonverbal cues with 100 percent consistency, and we might not get the influence we want because of this. And when it comes to real expertise, you know, knowing information and facts, you can only go so long before people smell a rat. You can become like the Wizard of Oz, who claimed to know and be capable of all sorts of things, but in reality, didn’t really have anything special about him at all. And when people come to you and ask you to solve their problems and you don’t know how, that’s disappointing, not helpful. And in the worst scenario, if you try to come off as someone you’re not, and people uncover what you’ve done, then you can get reprimanded or fired or totally lose any chance at a good reputation.
So it’s an incredibly risky strategy to try to pass yourself off as being more qualified or prepared than you really are. And I think that’s incredibly true when you consider that over the past decade or so, there’s been such a huge cultural shift where organizations are putting a huge value on transparency and authenticity. They’re looking for people who are going to put their real selves out there, and they want to know that every employee they bring onto their team is someone they can trust.
02:59
ike it. For example, Proverbs:03:51
Then consider, too, that even if you fool others, there’s no fooling God. He sees and knows everything. Psalm 139 is based entirely on this and lays out that no matter what we do or where we go, God is there. And on the positive side of that, we get reassurance in 1 John 3:20 that he’s going to see the truth of our situation. He’s not going to convict us when we don’t deserve it, no matter how we might feel.
04:18
Now, remember that your coworkers, your boss or partner--they’re not the ones you’re going to be facing on judgment day. They’re not who you need to impress. So the way I see it, if God’s the one you’re going to face, then you might as well not worry about what everybody else thinks. You should just be honest, because that’s what God wants you to do, and you can’t trick Him about who you are or what you can do anyway.
04:41
So if today’s companies are putting a higher value on honesty and being yourself, and if that’s ALWAYS what God asks of you, then what’s a better way to deal with feelings like insecurity that you might have?
To start, just ask God to give you the confidence and ability to perform at the level you need. Acknowledge where you fall short and ask God to fill the gap. Then go to your boss or your team. Be vulnerable enough to ask for more information and admit it if you don’t know something. Because most people aren’t looking to follow or work with a know-it-all. They’re looking to follow and work with people who constantly are willing to learn and get better. And in the majority of cases, if you go to them with an attitude of cooperation and you say, look, I’m not sure on this thing or I haven’t experienced that thing yet, but i want to find a solution together, then they’re going to see that as you being a team player. They’d much rather teach you something than have you play pretend and then cost the company in one way or another. Plus, we all have blindspots, and when you ask for feedback, they’re going to help you improve in ways you might never even have thought about. It gets you past your biases about your own strengths and weaknesses so you can grow in the way you NEED to, not just the way you WANT.
[:One last point I’ll make is that most people deal with the Spotlight Effect. That’s just a fancy psychology term for the tendency we have to think that people notice something about you more than they do. If you come into the office with a big zit on your nose, for example, you’re probably going to overestimate how much others notice it. And in the same way, we can think that others are going to notice our mistakes or shortcomings a lot more than they actually do. And much of the time, people end up much more compassionate or forgiving than we might have imagined they would be.
Here’s a great example. Not too long ago, an intern at HBO Max sent out a test email to a huge portion of the company’s mailing list. The company responded really graciously with a post on Twitter saying they were helping the intern through it, and there was just this massive outpouring of support from other Twitter users. Everybody started telling stories of when they screwed up or did something horribly embarrassing on the job, too. It was an enormous show of empathy so that the intern wouldn’t feel so bad.
res for you.” And in Isaiah:07:56
As you weigh all this, I’ll close the episode with a prayer.
Father, the business world is coming to accept that there’s a value to being honest and transparent. But so many people still are caught in the idea that they have to pretend to be something that they are not to be successful. Help them see that this is not the truth. Let them come to you whenever they are anxious, and help them trust that you’re going to strengthen and grow them. Give them the courage to be vulnerable with others, so that when all is said and done, they’re right with you in their hearts. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
08:42
That’s a wrap for this episode, everybody. Next time, I’m going to talk about God’s tendency to use unlikely people to get important jobs done, and what that means for staying confident no matter what your role at the office might be. Join me for that next week and until then, be blessed.
