Well, hello again, listeners. I’m your host, Wanda Thibodeaux, and this show — from start to finish — is Faithful on the Clock, the podcast where all the laundry spins in the dryer to get your faith and work aligned. Today, I’m asking you the question: Do you ever compare yourself? It’s pretty human to do that to some degree, but the business environment can turn comparison into a serious trap it’s hard to get out of. And for that reason, to help you be more confident in your own calling, we’re gonna talk about how to set aside what others have, right now.

So, as you just heard me mention in the top of the show, the business environment really sets us up to do a ton of comparing ourselves to other people. And it’s kind of a multi-layered thing, right? Because on one broader level, you’ve got broad cultural expectations going on. So, for example, here in the United States, we certainly have some younger founders and entrepreneurs, but for most people, the expectation is that when you get your first job right out of college, you’re gonna focus more on just getting your bearings and really learning how your industry works from the inside. And then maybe in a few years, you put down some money for a house, really start going after promotions with intention, right? But then if you get more granular, there are expectations within specific industries. So, for example, if you wanna become a chef, you’re looking at 5, sometimes up to 10 years before you can reach the top level. But part of the reason we look at those expectations and compare is because we wanna be reasonable in how we go about things. If you’re just out of college, you’re probably not going to get very far applying to be the CEO of some Fortune 500 company right away. If you compare your experience to the amount of experience most CEOs at that level have, you’ll see there’s not a match, right?

But comparison is not just a pragmatic or logistics thing. It’s also very much tied to the way we try to connect to each other and get a sense of who we are. And basically, from the psychological standpoint, we use comparison as a way to gauge our sense of safety. We’re constantly looking around and asking ourselves if we’ve deviated too far from what’s considered normal. Because we understand almost in a visceral way that we have to stay within norms to a certain degree or we’ll be pushed out of the group. And so there is this very instinctive, protective element to it where comparing and looking to stay within the norms connects to a sense of belonging and safety. So, when we look at the normal milestones people have, like maybe getting a house or getting that first promotion, that’s why we can have such anxiety around it if we feel like we’re behind what other people are doing. Subconsciously, it sets off all these alarm bells that things aren’t secure and that you’re gonna be in real danger if you don’t step it up and do better. And when you look at the business world, part of the reason people see assets and all that as success is because there’s this perception that having all those things unequivocally answers the question of whether we’re safe or not. It’s almost like, at that point, we can stop worrying and stop comparing so much and just relax, right, because our position is clear. And in fact, if we get to the level where we have all the money and are at the top, then we even can redefine what the social norm is. And probably the best example I can give you right now here in America is Elon Musk. You know, he’s one of the richest men in the world, and for better or worse, he’s used that wealth to gain influence with President Trump and totally rework how the government was going to function. So, you don’t have to label these changes as individually good or bad, but the objective fact is that all of those changes are forcing people to take a second look at what they have to do and how safe they actually are. And that’s part of the reason so many people have been so uneasy with all of this going on, because all the normal milestones like education or being able to retire or even how easy it is to do research or go to the doctor, it’s all in question. And so people are trying to assess where they are and what they have to do or what routes are possible, and it’s almost impossible right now to do because so much is still in limbo.

But the long story short of all this is, when you are so focused on constant comparison and fitting these norms or getting to a feeling of safety, you are not focused on the calling God has for you. You end up getting distracted and putting value on what really doesn’t matter. And in the worst case scenario, you can even look at others and start to devalue yourself. You can start thinking, you know, “I’m nobody next to these other people. There’s no way I could serve the way I am.” And if we want to serve God well, that’s really limiting.

One example I can give you here of someone who resisted comparison is Joseph, who if you remember from the New Testament, is Mary’s husband. He was the Earthly father of Jesus. And when he and Mary are engaged, you know, he’s probably thinking, “Life’s gonna be great. Everything is going according to plan.” He’ll have a wife and settle down and have his business and all of that. But then, of course, Mary comes to him and basically says, “Look, I’m pregnant.” And most guys, your fiance comes to you and says she’s pregnant, what are you gonna think? You’re gonna think your fiance was messing around on you with somebody else. And the norm at that time, engagement was different. It was legally very serious, like already being married. And so Mary being pregnant would have been seen as adultery. And so Joseph knows this. But he’s in this tough position, because as a righteous man, he doesn’t want this woman to be at risk. He doesn’t want her killed. Yet, he knows the Jewish law. So, at first, he tries to kind of straddle both sides of the fence. He says, “Well, I’ll try to divorce her quietly. I’ll obey the law but I’m gonna be chill about it so people don’t hurt her.” But then the angel of God comes and tells him not to be afraid to marry her, reassures him that Mary’s been faithful and that this is all of God’s plan. And so at that point, this is Joseph’s calling from God. He has to be intentional and go against the norm or social expectation, even though it meant people were going to judge his family and that life was going to be harder for it. If he would not have obeyed God and taken Mary as his wife, it would have been a very different story for Jesus. Mary and Jesus would have had no male protector at all. And they very much needed that as people like Herod who were in authority were out to kill Jesus.

So, piggybacking off that example, the main thing that I want to get across to you is that, if you look at all the stories of the Bible, the point when really great things always happened is when people defied expectations, when they stood up against what the norms were and just responded in humility when God spoke. I mean, it is all over the place. If you look at Moses, you know, you’ve got the son of a Hebrew slave who goes up against the most powerful man in Egypt if not the world. Or take Gideon and his army. Common sense or the norm at the time would have said he was absolutely nuts for going up against the enemy with just 300 men. But God’s like, “Don’t compare. Don’t judge whether you’re gonna win by human numbers. Judge it based on whether I’m on your side.” And the idea is, if God has a path for you, your energy ought to be on just figuring out how to walk that path. Because if you’re caught in comparing, then it’s like you’re preparing for what’s not even relevant. It’s wasted energy. You’re missing the target. But to put this into more everyday terms for you, as some of you who listen regularly might know, I’m pretty petite. I’m only 4’8”. Now, if I tell you I’m gonna work hard and get into the WNBA, you’d probably laugh at me. Because it’s a bad fit, right? But what if I told you I’m gonna do gymnastics instead? Or what if, you know, like actually happens sometimes, kid falls into a well or pipe or that kind of thing, they need someone small to get in there and go get the kid. And the point is, I’m not called into the WNBA. I wasn’t designed for that. Even if I spent every day practicing, I might get pretty good, but the typical WNBA player is 6’ tall, okay? I think there are some exceptions like Crystal Dangerfield who’s like 5 and a half feet or something like that. But if I try to compare and compete with that standard, there’s just no way I’m gonna win. So, my objective can’t be on success in the WNBA. It has to just be on success in whatever God wants me to do.

Now, I am not pretending that following God guarantees an easy life. Believe me when I say it doesn’t. What I am saying is, don’t fight the fight you don’t have to fight, and don’t underestimate what God gives you to win with. I’ve brought that up with the story of David and Goliath before, too. In that story, even before David even goes out to the battlefield, Samuel’s like, “OK, God, you sure you’ve got the right guy?” He was comparing David to these other kings and warriors and it didn’t seem to make sense. And then when David comes to Saul before he fights Goliath, everybody’s got this idea in their head about what it takes to do battle. They try to make him put on armor and pick up a sword. But David didn’t look at any of that. He just focused on defending Israel and the honor of God. The only comparison he did was against his own experience to just to say, “This is a lot like battling bears and lions, and God’s been with me in those fights.” He compared the job, not himself. And that’s really the critical thing. Your success has nothing to do with what other people have done. It has everything to do with whether God has trained and equipped you. And just because that preparation or training might not be what people expect doesn’t mean it can’t be effective. And the reason people get so anxious is because they don’t have clarity about what their calling even is. If you don’t know what God’s asking you to do or where He wants you to go, like David did, following the status quo seems like the only logical way. So, you have to get clear on what your calling is. Not what most people do, but what you were made to do.

So, let me just pivot a little. How do you get that clarity? How do you come to know what path you’re supposed to walk? Well, I think the best way is just to go to God and ask. He might send word or be direct about it like He did with Joseph or so many of the prophets and say, “This is what to do.” But in my own experience, I think God can give us the clarity we need in hindsight and feeling. I can look back on my life now, all the writing I did, all the things that I went through, and I can see how that was all just training. Every piece I wrote, that was a practice stone in my own slingshot. All those times where I was just completely raw, all of that gave me insight. It gave me empathy. So, look back at your life. Look for the threads that can’t possibly be plain coincidence. Those will help you see where God is wanting you to go. But I can tell you that, especially over these past few years, I have had a sense of — it’s almost like playing hot and cold. Some of you out there, if you don’t know that little game, the premise is just that you hide something, and as the person who’s trying to find it searches, you say cold if they get farther away from whatever you’ve hidden and hot if they get closer. And that’s kind of what it’s been like for me. God’s not telling me exactly how things are going to be. But as I go in the direction of writing and doing this podcast and really committing to using my experience to help other people who have suffered, it’s like that signal is in the pit of my stomach, where it’s just kind of beeping down there, “Warm, warm, warm! OK, getting hotter!” And as I’ve really started to focus on this message of God being a God of joy and restoring people to be happy with Him, it’s like, “OK, hot hot hot!” But you have to be aware of it. You have to pay attention to those signals and feel if they’re there, and to do that, you have to slow down. You almost have to just block out the world for a little while. Like, nothing else matters. It’s just you, the clock ticking, and those little signals. And if you do that enough, it starts to have a good weight to it. It grounds you and starts to feel like there’s no possible way you possibly could be interpreting it wrong. Because it just keeps coming back and getting hotter, right? If you pay attention to it and you respond with little steps, that’s what happens. And you reach a point where it is so heated, and this is where, you know, I think you can bring that saying to mind, what lights a fire in you? It starts to just burn and there’s no way you can ignore it anymore. And again, I recognize God might deal with you differently than He does with me. But I describe this because so often when we’re searching for purpose or our what we should do, we do, we want this very direct, quick answer. And I think for most of us, it’s not like that. It’s this gradual pull that intensifies. And personally, I think God does that with most of us because He knows we need time to acclimate to the idea of handling the job. If we can take it in little by little, we don’t get scared off so easily. But if you’ve got that in your life, if you feel this little, unidentified something each time you take a step in a certain direction, I think that’s a pretty good sign that God is doing something with you. And I would pay attention to that.

To just wrap this up, I just want to remind you — and I know it’s difficult, especially for those of you who truly are in dangerous situations, but — security and safety don’t come from making sure you’re in the status quo or are in a position to control it. Security and safety come from God. They’re gifts that He gives. So, instead of looking so much where other people are and trying to match what they’ve got, just focus on where God wants you to be.

Let’s go ahead and pray.

Lord, there are billions of people on this planet. And today, I wanna say thank You that none of us have to compare ourselves to any of them. You have made each of us to be completely unique and to serve in ways nobody else can. And Father, I pray that You’ll just lift any doubts and insecurities people have about that so they can truly trust in You and have confidence to move toward the calling You’ve given them. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

Aaaaaand I’m out. I’ve got nothing else, except to tell you that in our next show, we’ll be focusing on the idea of finding your tribe. What does that even mean anymore, and how can you do it as you work? I’ll see you in two weeks for that, everybody. Check out the tons of content we’ve got at our sister site, faithfulontheclock.com, or send me a note with a show idea or just to say hello and let me know how I’m doing at wandathibodeaux@faithfulontheclock.com. Take care and be blessed.