Weaving a Network Web That Works

Welcome once again to the show everyone. I’m Wanda Thibodeaux, and this is Faithful on the Clock, the podcast all about getting your faith and work aligned. This episode is all about networking. I’m gonna be breaking down how to do that well in the age of social media, so if you want to connect to people who actually can help you, then shut the door, turn everything else off so there’s NOTHING to distract you, and let’s roll.

When you think of networking today, you probably think at least somewhat about social media by default. And even though we were hopping onto those platforms, or we were hopping onto those platforms before COVID-19, I do think that the pandemic made us lean on those channels more heavily for networking than before. And because there are so many choices now--you know, Facebook, LinkedIn, and a million other smaller services--I think it’s tempting to feel like networking is kind of in a golden age where it’s simpler and the potential impact is bigger than ever.

But if you look at traditional networking the way we used to do it a century ago or even a couple decades ago, then I think the opposite is actually true. Because let’s look at what had to happen, what that traditional networking actually involved. We didn’t have all this stuff like webinars or whatever, where you could do a ton of events anywhere in the world that you wanted. And you know, coming out of the World Wars, resources were still low, people really wanted to connect, there was this sense, I think, of needing to rebuild communities in fun ways that really uplifted people.

So people didn’t worry about how many people they networked with, they just focused on finding the right people, and they put a lot of energy into corresponding personally. You know, this idea we’re getting now that business needs to be personal and transparent, that’s--I don’t think that’s really anything new. People back then, they already were working within that, because a lot of the time, people were from the same town, and they worked with their friends and neighbors, and people knew a lot about other people’s nonprofessional lives anyway.

But the bigger point is that, their approach to networking was all about relationship. And they understood that to have those relationships, you had to build trust. And to get that you had to have repeated interactions. You couldn’t just meet up one time and toss an email address at each other and say “Oh, now we’re connected!”. No, you had to commit to investing some time in the other person.

And I really want to stress that because I think there’s this tendency to think that networking can be this one and done thing, and to think that other professionals are successful if you see they’ve got a large following. I know, for example, I’m a writer, and in the publishing industry, now in some genres like memoir, publishing houses are turning proposals away if authors don’t have a lot of social media followers. Because they want some kind of guarantee that if they sign the author, they’ll actually be able to sell the book. But if you drill down, I don’t think there’s an influencer on the planet who’s interacting with hundreds or thousands of followers every day. There’s not an influencer alive who really has the time to do that, and so when you see that huge number, when I look at that, you know what I see? That’s not a network, that’s a bunch of dead relationships. There’s no real two-way communication going on. I mean, if anything, the more successful someone gets, the more likely it is that they turn off the settings that make it easy for people to comment and get directly involved.

So if you want to have a solid network that really gets you anywhere, you have to give up this idea that a big number will make the difference. In fact, there’s something called Dunbar’s number, which you might have heard of, and that’s named after British anthropologist Robin Dunbar. And what Dunbar did was look at brain size and how that corresponded to the size of social groups. And he researched this, and he concluded that, in general, most people really can have only around 150 meaningful relationships. Anything bigger than that and people start breaking off of the group and forming smaller subgroups. That number seems pretty ridiculous when you see social media accounts with 10,000, half a million, a million followers or more, but that’s how disconnected we’ve become, we think that the million followers ought to be doable, and it’s just not.

So to tie this back to Jesus, you know, I always want to come back to that on this show, Christianity did not spread to become one of the biggest religions in the world because Jesus built a massive email list. It spread because Jesus looked for specific people who could go deliver the message. He picked just 12 disciples out of everybody, and then he trusted that they would connect with other people and share what he said. And I don’t know, but I really think that today, a lot of people struggle to accept that way of doing things because we’ve got this immediate-gratification culture and stress this idea of the individual so hard. It creates this sense that we have to do it all alone and can’t delegate anything. And when you shut out people just because their following isn’t big enough yet, to me, that’s the opposite of supporting innovation, because all you’re doing is letting people in the door who already are thriving. You’re not investing in new people who have great concepts and potential at all.

But Jesus knew who the effective people would be, He knew He wasn’t going to be in the world for long, and so even though He saw--He still doesn’t miss anybody, He still sees everybody as important. But He let those 12 people into His tightest circle, and by today’s standards that network was ridiculously small. But it was arguably one of the most effective networks in all of history.

Now, none of this means that you can’t use social media to do some really incredible things, and I want you to do that. I’m not saying delete your accounts or anything like that. But because leaders are starting to see the value of personal relationships again, to me, that’s a glimmer of hope. And if you want a network that’s filled with quality relationships, that’s really healthy instead of just being filled with a lot of weak links, I’ve got a few recommendations for you.

The first thing is, make your values and goals clear in your profile and your posts. That’s gonna help you attract people who are like-minded to you, who have the same purpose. Then use those goals and values to decide who you’re going to reach out to, too. Don’t just accept every friend request or click follow just because the platform happens to recommend their profile. Really know why you’re hitting that follow button, and spend more time learning and having deep conversations than you do promoting yourself, because when you have those deeper conversations, people naturally are going to be more willing to view the promotions you do put out and to take them seriously and share them.

Secondly, once you find people who have the same vision and beliefs you do, really understand what it is you can bring to the table. That might mean you have to do some soul searching or get some feedback. But you can’t expect people to give to you for free, at least not for the long haul. So go in knowing what your value proposition is and really communicate that.

Third, go in early. You know, people don’t want to be approached just because you need something. So if you start a relationship early on based on shared values, you’ll be in a better position to make a request later without it feeling really forced or unnatural.

Lastly, be physically visible. Turn that camera on, let people see and hear you, it’s OK if your hair’s a little frizzy, whatever, OK? Because things like tone of voice, posture, people are going to take cues from that. You want that to make sure they really understand what your intent is, you don’t want a bunch of misunderstandings. And it really helps you and the other person kind of feel out where the boundaries are and know when you should push them or back off.

Now, as you do all these things, you still have to follow some other basic rules. You have to think about things like protecting your personal information, for instance. And of course, there are considerations like what platform is best for certain demographics and all that. But the bottom line is that networking isn’t about numbers. It’s about people, and within that, ensuring that your building a circle of people who can support and advocate for you long after you’re gone. You know, Twitter, maybe that won’t even be around in 20 years, that’s how tech is. So play the long game. No matter what you want to achieve, think people rather than platform.

So let’s stick a bow on it and close the episode with a prayer.

Father in Heaven, it is easy today to get caught up in numbers. To think that somehow we’ve failed if we don’t have huge accounts. But those accounts aren’t useful if they are empty. And you see every single one of us. Let us take that same principle and remember what the word influencer is really supposed to mean--let us change lives. If our circle is 50 people, 10 people, just 5 people, it’s not a failure if we’ve really made a difference to that 50, 10 or 5 people. Just help us make sure we’re giving something back and work together for your goals instead of our own. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

It is, as they say in the theater, time for the final curtain here. So before you go, I’ll just give you a heads up that the next episode is going to talk about delegating. How do you do it? Is there a right time to do it? I’ll have answers. Subscribe to the show, support it at patreon.com/faithfulontheclock, and until next time, be blessed.